18 Ugly Truths About Modern Dating We Have to Deal With

Not that I have a ton of dating experience but I came across this read and was pretty impressed by its accuracy…and so frustrated by it.

Courtesy ThoughtCatalog.com

1. The person who cares less has all the power. Nobody wants to be the one who’s more interested.

2. Because we want to show how cavalier and blasé we can be to the other person, little psychological games like ‘Intentionally Take Hours Or Days To Text Back’ will happen. They aren’t fun.

3. A person being carefree because they have zero interest in you looks exactly like a person being carefree because they think you’re amazing & are making a conscious effort to play it cool. Good luck deciphering between the two.

4. Making phone calls is a dying art. Chances are, most of your relationship’s communication will happen via text, which is the most detached, impersonal form of interaction. Get familiar with those emoticon options.

5. Set plans are dead. People have options and up-to-the-minute updates on their friends (or other potential romantic interests) whereabouts thanks to texts & social media. If you aren’t the top priority, your invitation to spend time will be given a “Maybe” or “I’ll let you know” and the deciding factor(s) will be if that person has offers more fun/interesting than you on the table.

6. Someone who hurt you isn’t automatically going to have bad karma. At least not in the immediate future. I know it only seems fair, but sometimes people cheat and betray and move on happily while the person they left is in shambles.

7. The only difference between your actions being romantic and creepy is how attractive the other person finds you. That’s it, that’s all.

8. “Let’s chill” & “Wanna hang out?” are vague phrases that likely mean “let’s hookup” — and while you probably hate receiving them, they’re the common way to invite someone to spend time these days, and appear to be here to stay.

9. Some people just want to hookup and if you’re seeking more than sex, they won’t tell you that they’re the wrong person for you. At least, not untilafter they score your prize. While human decency is ideal, honesty isn’t mandatory.

10. The text message you sent went through. If they didn’t respond, it wasn’t because of malfunctioning phone carrier services.

11. So many people are scared of commitment and being official that they’ll remain in a label-free relationship, which blurs lines and only works until it doesn’t. I’ve said it many times before, I’ll say it again – “we’re just talking” is opening the door for cheating that technically wasn’t cheating because, hey, you weren’t together together.

12. Social media creates new temptations and opportunities to cheat. The private messaging and options for subtle flirtation (e.g. liking of pictures) aren’t an excuse or validation for cheating, but they certainly increase the chances of it happening.

13. Social media can also create the illusion of having options, which leads to people looking at Facebook as an attractive people menu instead of a means of keeping contact with friends & family.

14. You aren’t likely to see much of someone’s genuine, unfiltered self until you’re in an actual relationship with him or her. Generally people are scared that sincerely putting themselves out there will result in finding out that they’re too available, too anxious, too nerdy, too nice, too safe, too boring, not funny enough, not pretty enough, not some other person enough to be embraced.

15. Any person you get romantically involved with you’ll either wind up staying with forever or breaking up with them at some point. These are equally terrifying concepts.

16. When dating, instead of expressing how they feel directly to you, a person is more likely to post a Facebook status or Instagram a Tumblr-esque photo of a sunset with a quote or song lyric of someone else’s words on it, and while it may not mention your name, it’s blatantly directed at you.

17. There are plenty of people who’ll have zero respect for your relationship and if they want the person you’re with, they’ll have no qualms with trying to overstep boundaries to get to ‘em. Girl code and guy code are wishful thinking and human code isn’t embedded in everyone.

18. If you get dumped, it’s probably going to be pretty brutal. People can cut ties over the phone and avoid seeing the tears stream down your face or end things via text and avoid hearing the pain in your cracking voice and sniffling nose. Send a lengthy text and voilà, relationship over. The easy way out is far from the most considerate. TC Mark

 

 

 

Well at least I can say I tried it…

I’ve finally got back into the routine of working out regularly and thought I would try something new…..with all the fitness class options I figured I might as well take advantage of them all so I decided to step out of my comfort zone and try Zumba! As I watched a bunch of old ladies walk out of the class last week soaked in sweat I figured it could be fun….and how hard could it be right?!

I can’t help but laugh at myself after such an embarrassing failed attempt. I walked in not really knowing what to expect but assumed I would at least be able follow along, knowing full well it would not be a pretty sight to see. The instructor walked in, turned the music on and started right into the routine without a simple “Hello, welcome to my class”, “Is anyone new tonight?” or even a rundown of how she runs her class. I thought that alone was pretty rude and unprofessional considering the class is associated with a gym that gets new members daily. It started out simple enough but just as I started to get the moves down she turned it up 5 notches and i felt like i was in the middle of a Latin flash mob. She didn’t have a headset on and there was no instruction whatsoever. I was literally standing there in shock while everyone continued on with the routine around me as I quickly realized I was the only newbie.

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I think I lasted a total of 15 minutes before I thew the towel in a walked out. I went to the treadmill (without any headphones) ran a quick two miles so I wouldn’t feel completely worthless and headed home in time to catch Greys and enjoy the last little bit of Fro Yo left in the freezer. Although not at all the night I had planned, it turned out to be okay.

As the saying goes, “you learn something new everyday.” I actually learned two things from that experience: 1. I will not be attending any Zumba classes in the near future and 2. When I become a fitness instructor, I will never start my class without even introducing myself or giving everyone a warm welcome.

Friendships.

Part of my TESOLS curriculum today involved relationships and I thought the description of friendship was spot on.

Friendships are necessary to our emotional well-being and enrich our lives through their assuring presence. Friends help each other deal with problems. Good friends make time for one another and lay aside other duties in order to help, regardless of circumstances. Good friendships meet a critical requirement in good relationships: the needs of both parties—most notably the need for companionship—are met through the relationship.

Friendships grow with honesty. Friends share personal thoughts and feelings with each other. They take off the mask of calculated impressions and reveal their true selves. Friends also advise and criticize. They tell each other what is both painful and needful so that greater pain might be avoided.

Friends are trustworthy. Friends trust each other with their true selves and risk revealing themselves to one another in ways they might not share within other close relationships. The sharing is based upon a mutual trust and discretion in handling each other’s personal information. 

A friend is loyal. Friends empathize with each other and assist each other through troubling times. Through compassion, one friend feels the misfortune suffered by the other. Likewise, the successes of one are celebrated together.